Self-esteem

I feel I can say this by experience and that I am no exception to the rule. I say, no one in this whole damn world can bend beyond a point, no matter how humble you see it. Beyond a particular vague point, you cannot take even self-criticism and resort to tell yourself - enough is enough. You cannot drag your ego cum self-esteem lower and you stop criticizing. Instead, you start protecting yourself from criticism and defend yourself under all circumstances. And then nobody can really play with your self-respect.

"You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person I’ll guarantee you’ll win."

As I watched Patch Adams tonight, I helplessly commemorated my highly agonising, self-demeaning and near-death experience at the hospital during delivery of my second child. The nurses were rude and the doctors were indifferent. The stay at the hospital was a punishment, a jail, an ordeal. Nothing short.

Had I been not a victim, I might not have appreciated the philosophy of Patch as much. Indeed, the purpose of medicine is more than delaying death - a hospital must mean more than that... It should be an endeavor towards improving the quality of life while trying to improve health and wellbeing. 

Let's see what happens!
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ROLES...

A child is a bud who blossoms each moment day by day with each experience that falls in his/her share. He/ she, unfailingly, lives every experience as a lesson and an adventure. At least it goes on like this till he/ she is mature enough to define an experience.

As parents and teachers, we take upon the responsiblity to skillfully guide him/ her through these experiences

to make him/ her a better human being... a responsible individual... a good performer of each and every one his forthcoming roles...of a citizen, a follower, son/ daughter, spouse, parent, employee, member...the list seems endless, as it all depends upon the grown up, to choose roles and responsibilities for himself/ herself later in life.

We, the parents, try to make learning as pleasant for our children as possible. We arrange instation picnics, outstation trips, buy all sorts of games, puzzles, books et al, to make the process of growing up all the more learning as well as enjoyable. We toil through scruplous filtering during school admission process, to get admission (for our child) in the most impressive school(ofcourse subject to our own perception of ideal schooling). We play vivacious in the company of our young ones to be accepted as their comrades, to be able to share without any hindarances and eventually contribute optimumly in their well being.

We, the teacher, are not lagging far behind. We toil hard with the children of other parents...dedicating a large part of our lives thinking about what all constructive and unconventional can be done to embellish their learning experiences, creating lucrative enviornment for learning, training and studying, working perpetually with innovative ideas in conjunction with conservatism to avail variety of experiences in controlled enviornment, persistently matching up with the ideal figures to exemplify in front of the kids of all ages.

I had a nightmare...

This is a depressingly sad blog entry... If you are a parent and wish to keep yourself in a good mood, better not read this.

This is a then and there blog. I have just woken up after a jolting dream. I had just broken out as loudly as I can in my dream and the second moment I was awake with my heart beating faster and my emotions still berserk.

This was one of the rarest dreams wherein I found myself in the middle of a bollywood action movie situation. Some hooligans trying to kill and showering bullets from all sides.

And then I saw the carcass of my son lying for cremation. Now when I have waken up I realize that I saw body of Darsh and perceiving him Vasu throughout... I saw myself calm and collected at first like someone who believes in theory of Karma and soul. But then I started cherishing his "mamma.." call and broke into hellish tears...

The very moment, with my face expression as crumbled as in the dream, my eyes opened in this world where Vasu and Darsh were lying fast asleep by my side. Did not I thank God at that moment? I remembered Him...I kissed both of them on their forehead.

Then I wondered why I had such a dream? And then I recalled this flaring news that was doing rounds on all news channels yesterday evening. The police has recovered skeletons of sixteen children aged between 4 and 8 from Noida. The news channel reported that till date 38 children were missing from Noida, all lost from a 100 feet long stretch of a particular road of a residential colony in the area.

Channels reported that all missing children belonged to low income group. Parents and relatives of the missing children kept knocking the doors of the nearest police stations in the area, but all complaints had been falling on deaf ears. The channels showed a poster having small pictures of the missing children. Didn't it ran a chill down my spine? Such cute and innocent faces, they looked like children I had known, seen, played with... like my own...

Guess what that demon who killed so many children did with the children? It is extremely disgusting to know that certain people take life of others like a luxury item for themselves... Horrible!

What a BAD BAD world we are living in! Horrific indeed!

Message to my babies...

Its my letter to you when you grow independent and beyond my say whatsoever...

“Ahimsa (non-violence) is not merely abstaining from killing others and forsaking food items leading to violence of life."

Non-violence (ahimsa) in the true sense of the world means striving for stringent control of reasons that contribute to violence in all ways and manners. Call it non-violence or moral obligation; we must stay away from wastage of resources to the extent of being miserly while using your resources.

For instance, if you cannot say no to polythene, limit the use… reuse often and try to dispose off only when it is inevitable or the plastic is not worth using any more. And still dispose it off for recycling and not just dump it such as to create garbage. Please…our environment needs our care and concern for a longer stay… We need to pay heed for our own selfish motive - welfare and comfort of our own off springs and their generations to come.

Likewise, we need to conserve all that nature has endowed us with to make our life easier and comfortable. How can we forget that every time we pick up a new piece of paper for our rough work, we are basically putting pressure on Mother Nature? More wood demand means higher deforestation. How can we forget, like us, there are numerous people using paper likewise. Our individual efforts means that at least one unit of the world is not contributing to the sharply rising demand. Rest are more likely to follow… may be one day our individual efforts and caution will find replication with our kin, siblings, off springs and friends following our foot steps.

Otherwise, won’t you feel like a criminal in front of our generations to follow of neglectful and selfish conduct?

"When I close my eyes for good, I wish to leave my children settled, healthy and happy."

My sole objective and passion in this life is to NOT compromise with the standard of upbringing of my children. Not because I want to feel proud of my kids or flaunt their intellect amongst my acquaintances, friends and family... nor I want them to become my walking stick when I grow old and feel difficult to sustain alone ... Nor I have any high expectations from my offsprings that I intend to be secured to satisfy my own ego or prove the superiority of my genes... No. None of it.

In a mock interview as a parent of a prospective nursery admission, I was asked, what according to me was the toughest job for a parent. I did not have to think even for second because I knew it ... I had been feeling the burden of it ... still am... the task of availing the best of opportunities and the most qualitative resources for my children, within my own constraints - financial and intellectual. The qualitative resources is what I think will be the apt word for defining crucial constituents for building a child's mental makeup, his paranomic intellectual and philosophical view of the world around him. The crucial building blocks of an ideal mind I feel will be ideology, methodology and focal point of the school, accompanied hand in hand with the quality home enviornment, sound deportment from parents exemplified for children to emulate and follow, regular and notable emphasis on spiritual enlightenment and finally the enviornment where he would find his friend circle.

In short, it is everything that should be and cannot be compromised with... yet within my own petty limits. I am confident that my children deserve the best but will I be able to fetch it for them is the BIG question.

"What I want for myself, I wish for everyone else. To empathise is not kind...but human."

Yes, I am emotional.. emotional for my children...and for children just like mine, who will be receiving in inheritance, an upset environmental balance, malfunctioning weather cycles and extreme temperatures turning hostile than ever... they are going to bear the repercussions of my attitude towards mother nature... attitude of indifference... recklessness ... and self-indulgence. I am keener in satisfying my own comfort parameters, thinking least about the kind of harm I am causing to the environmental balance...
I want to bestow my coming generations with the best of values as well as the best of living conditions...But am I practicing it as well?